Saturday, 26 April 2008

Courtship, dating, marriage

The young people here in Nairobi held a conference on courtship, dating and marriage today.

I was very encouraged by their seriousness, and that they could all see that the present contemporary way, where everyone goes on a series of "marriage-lite" dating adventures, and tries a little here and a little there could not be right. Marriage is intended to be a complete and exclusive union of one man and one woman for life. There is not meant to be a prior series of others who in your past you gave a little bit of yourself too before finally settling down. The guarding of the purity of marriage should also mean a jealous guarding of the purity of before marriage - and that purity can be compromised in multitudes of ways other than just fornication.

In England, I was accustomed to young Christians, even seriously godly ones, having little idea about what would be a God-honouring way to go about seeking a spouse. Mostly, they were just assuming that you should do what everyone else does, except not have full intercourse until the wedding day. Can that be the only real difference between godly people and the ungodly in a radically anti-Christian society? Shouldn't there be something more? Can it really be that the UK's turning from God has made no real changes to how we go about one of the most important decisions of all - seeking a spouse?

A trio of recommended books. Go search for them on Amazon if you want to think and be challenged further: 1) Josh Harris, "I kissed dating goodbye" 2) Josh Harris, Boy Meets Girl, 3) Douglas Wilson, Her Hand in Marriage.

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