I was passed that R T Kendall link in an email from "Christianity
Magazine" (UK) which I'm struggling to place.
But I don't think I'll be subscribing, unless I'm looking for material
to weep over.
DEAR MAGGIE: Even more sex questions
"I'm dating a Christian guy and we do not intend to have sex before
marriage. We've gone too far in the past,
far enough that I was worried I might have got pregnant. We dont
intend to do it again, but should I go on
contraception just in case? The thought of having a baby with
someone when we are not ready seems to be a
bigger concern than the idea that being on contraception would
encourage us to go further."
You raise some important issues here. You are right to take
incredibly seriously the responsibility of
conceiving life. You want a baby to come ideally into a secure and
forever relationship that has got the
foundations to cope with the demands of being shared with children.
It sounds as if you need to talk through together how committed you
are to not having sex before marriage,
and whether you are therefore safe to not go on any contraception.
Maybe condoms might be a middle ground
between going on some more permanent contraception such as the
pill, and having nothing at all. The act of
having to put on a condom will also give you a moment of
practicality to check if you are making the right
decision as a couple to go ahead with penetrative sex.
That's what Maggie says. Maggie "is director of Lifecentre Rape Crisis
Service and a psychosexual therapist".
Here's what God says: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed
undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge", Hebrews
13:4. "Flee from sexual immorality", 1 Corinthians 6:18. "Do you not
know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be
deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers
nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the
greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the
kingdom of God" - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. "8 But the cowardly, the
unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who
practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars their place will be in
the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."
Having a baby would be a big step, of course, and Maggie suggests that
whilst fornicating you deploy a condom to help you consider what it
would mean. Entering the lake of burning fire and sulphur would also be
a big step, but Maggie and the editors of "Christianity magazine"
managed to overlook that God said anything about that.
Beware of false teachers, said Jesus; they come to you in sheep's
clothing, but inside they are wolves, ready to destroy your souls.